segunda-feira, 16 de fevereiro de 2009

A minha ex-namorada - 1

Minhas caras e meus caros, estou triste. Foi Dia dos Namorados e isso fez-me lembrar a minha ex-namorada. Ela era linda. Só para vocês verem como era bonita, ela quando comparada com uma foca é que uma é feia, tem bigodes e cheira a peixe, não é? A outra vive no mar. Acho, portanto, que dá para se perceber a beleza da rapariga.
Entre muitas outras particularidades que não se vêm em quase mulheres nenhumas, ela era vidente. Mas não é vidente de adivinhar propriamente o futuro. É mesmo porque só tinha dois dentes. Era bidente.
Aliás, por cada mês que completávamos de namoro, ela punha um dente. Tanto que ela, quando eu a conheci, não tinha dente nenhum e, ao fim do primeiro mês, tornou-se utente. Ao fim do segundo mês pôs outro dente e ficou bidente. Ao fim do terceiro dente pôs o terceiro sente e ficou tridente. No dia a seguir, atirou-se para a minha piscina e fez um tridente splash.
Amávamo-nos imenso e as coisas...terminaram. E da pior maneira possível. Nem eu acabei as coisas com ela, nem ela acabou as coisas comigo. Ela... morreu... É verdade meus queridos e minhas queridas. Morreu... morreu no banho. Estava a tomar banho com água das pedras. Levou uma pedrada nos cornos, passou desta para melhor.
Isto já está a ficar muito extenso mas eu, como gostava tanto dela, vou-lhe escrever outro texto.

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